Friday, April 29, 2011

You Know You're Getting Older When ...

There are a number of things these days that make me feel old...

1) Getting off the couch, hearing a creaking sound and limping for the first few steps ...

2) Working with people who have no idea who The GoGos are ...

3) Hearing myself telling Big T to turn his music down ...

But nothing makes me feel this way so much as what happened today when I took the boys to the Aquarium. 

When we first got there I thought it would be a good idea to put our coats and snack bag, etc, into a locker so I wouldn't have to lug them around with me.  I had my suspicions that this might be a bad idea when I noticed that on the locker it said "$1 x 2".  (Pricey!)  It's the kind of locker that they have at our local swimming pool that only costs a quarter and then you get your money back when you retrieve your things.  Well, I knew there'd be no money coming back to me out of these lockers, but in went my $2 anyways.  My inner voice was telling me that as soon as I put the stuff in, the boys would desperately want a snack.  (Mental note:  always listen to inner voice)

As suspected, it didn't take long 'til Big T had to have a snack!  And frankly I thought it was a good idea because they both had decided to stop listening and things were starting to get hairy.  Snacks are always good for times like these.  My mom used to call them "Shut-me-ups".  Of course I've adopted that term.

On our way back to get our things, we headed for a glass door which was the entrance to where the lockers were.  Little K had his hand on the door handle; I was just about to help him open it, when on the other side a group of - shall I say - "Tweens" practically bowled him over trying to get out the door from their side.  They clearly saw us, but as it tends to be with some tweens, they have no sense of who's around them. 

When this happened I said "Hey, watch out for the little ones."  I didn't even say it how I was feeling it.  I was pretty polite, I thought. 

That's when it happened.  A little girl Tween (who by the way I wasn't even speaking to) told me to "Calm down" in the most disrespectful way. 

Suddenly I was tranformed...into this:

At least in my head this is how I felt.  There were words like "whipper-snapper" and "kids these days" swirling around between my ears.  Of course I kept it together, but my blood was simmering...not quite a full boil, but nontheless hot.  I kept thinking:  I've got to teach my boys respect for their elders.  But then it was like, wait,  I'm an elder??  When did that happen?  I certainly don't feel like one. (Again, unless I'm getting up off the couch.)

So what's the moral to this story?

No, I'm asking...what's the moral to this story?

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

How I Spent My Afternoon

Ahhhhh Haaaaa Haaaa!   In my dreams this is how I spent my afternoon.  I wouldn't consider this a "Mommy" blog if I did.  More like a Luckiest-Woman-In-The-World Blog. 

No, I spent my afternoon here:

Yes, that's right...the Play Palace is open with all new bouncy castles and slides.  I guess it is kind of a Mommy getaway...if your kids are old enough, that is.  For me, Little K is still too "little" so can't or isn't quite into the big bouncy whatchamacallits.  (Unlike me)  So I still have to watch him like a hawk and run after him and play with him.  Not that I don't like playing with my kids (Boys, if you're reading this years from now, playing with you is my life!)  It's just sometimes you envy the mom who can sit on the sidelines and zone out to her iPhone while the kiddies bounce safely along. 

I think it would be a great place for a bit of adult fun.  (That didn't come out right)  Unfortunately us big kids aren't allowed to get our bounce on.  (Again, doesn't sound good)  The next couple of pics will illustrate the point I'm trying to make:

A couple of years ago, Hubby and I snuck into a bouncy castle we took the boys to.  I think Little K was asleep in the stroller and Big T must have moved on to something else - OR - just sat to the side and shook his three-year-old head at who are supposed to be the adults in his life.  If anything we're teaching him to be forever young...and deal with the consequences of your actions - aka aches and pains - when you get home.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Happy Easter!

Easter Brothers

Food Wars

Okay, so Julia Child I'm not.  But I try.  Sometimes.  (You didn't think I was consistent, did you?)  And it's not because I don't want to be.  I'd love nothing better than to cook "one" fabulous meal for my family.  I'd feel all warm and fuzzy inside, proud and like I've accomplished something pretty terrific.  I just don't feel it's going to happen anytime soon.  (In fact, I've given up) 

It's difficult to get creative because ... well, to put it simply ... ain't no foodies 'round here.  Hubby's from Scotland so for him it's all about Bangers & Mash, Scotch Pie & Beans, Chicken & Fries, Butter Chicken, Halibut & Fries.  We've eaten so many fries, even Big T is sick of them!  (And that's sayng something).

And of course I'm a vegetarian.  Not a very good one, but one nonetheless.  So really, we kind of consider our boys to have the best of both worlds and lots of choices at dinnertime.  More than the average kid actually.  We'd be happy if they ate like either of us.  They just don't get how lucky they are. 

On one of my more organized evenings, I made this for dinner:

Mini meatballs with a sweet ketchup sauce, fettuccini with butter and parmesan, steamed broccoli and yellow peppers.  Notice all the three food groups are present and accounted for (in other words, notice what a great mommy/provider of nutrition I am)

This is what they ate:

Well, at least it's Whole Wheat.  I take comfort in that.

I've got to say, I was pretty proud of these meatballs.  Found the recipe online and made them with my "BARE HANDS".  Probably not a big deal to most people, but I repeat:  I'm a vegetarian!  That meat smell stayed on my hands 'til I went to bed that didn't even come out with soap.  But these are the types of sacrifices I'm willing to make for my boys.  (Send nominations for Mother-of-the-Year to...) At least Hubby liked them so it wasn't a total loss.

So I did my job.  I provided.  They didn't do their job, which was to eat it, but whatchagonnado?  And as much as I stress out about the various food issues in our home, as long as I provide what I'm "supposed" to, I feel great.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Mad About Whoppers!

To The Makers of Whoppers Mini Eggs,

I don't like you. 

I don't know what type of secret ingredients you put inside your "Mini Whopper Eggs" that make them so hard to resist, but I find it extremely cruel of you.  And what's with making them so small?  So small that a few just won't do.  The "Nutritional Facts" on the carton state that if I eat 31 of these delightful horrible little eggs it'll be 190 calories.  You're purposely messing with my mind because all the eggs vary in size.  Does your nastiness know no boundaries? 

Look, I'm a stay-at-home mom.  Afternoons can get pretty hairy.  Munchies set in.  I'm trying my best to refrain from this type of product and lose what I still refer to as baby fat (and will 'til the day it comes off).  With your cute packaging and inexpensive price point, you're not helping. 

You're also messing with my mothering skills.  I'm trying to teach my kids to share yet I can't share these wonderful disgusting 'lil candies with them.  They could become addicted!  I love my children too much to do that to them.  You should be ashamed of yourself.

I'm basically writing this to tell you that after I finish the other box that I bought, I won't be buying your product again. 

Live with that!  ('Cuz I'll have to)

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Ode To George ...

... Curious George, that is.

Each and every morning
At 8 o'clock precise
I tell the kiddies "George is on"
It is my only vice

They watch him oh so quietly
I take the time to think
Of all the things I have to do
And grab myself a drink

George, he makes them laugh and smile
So innocent and funny
He always starts our day off right
On rainy days or sunny

So thanks to George I tend to have
Some minutes to myself
Before the wants and needs of others
Put my own upon a shelf

Spring Cleaning

It's that time again...Spring is in the air....the days are getting longer, no need for the flannels, the birds are chirping, flowers blooming.

Time to get serious and bring out the heavy artillery, the industrial-strength cleaners.  Weed-wackers, START YOUR ENGINES! 

It's going to take skill, patience, persistence and determination of steel...even a little muscle.

Oh, I'm not talking about my house or garden.  (Although they do need work)  No, I'm talking about...


During my first pregnancy I asked all my mommy friends (or any pregnant woman passing) to give me the low-down, the nitty-gritty, all the gory details of both the birthing experience and motherhood.  I learned about possible tearing and hemorrhoids, engorged boobies and the like.  So how come no one told me that it would take super-human strength to take a shower?  Okay, so I exaggerate a little.  But I used to shower EVERY DAY!  I guess I could work harder at making this happen, but frankly there are days that it just seems like more work and I have enough to do (including now writing this blog). 

Now you're probably thinking..."Ewww", but I do the basics.  I don't stink.  It's the's the "weed-wacking", the fine-tuning. 

So I went in the bathroom, locked the door...and took some "me" time. 

Kind of hard to look sexy with this on your face.

First painted toes of the year.

When's the last time you took a little "me" time?

Monday, April 18, 2011


I've been incommunicado for the past couple of days...but what seemed like longer.  I just hope my $500 cell phone is having a lovely time on some white sandy beach...OR is with someone who REALLY needed a phone, but couldn't afford one.  Yes, I lost it.  (Kudos to Hubby for not saying anything about his lack of surprise of this situation, because he says I lose everything).  To my credit though, it is the first cell phone I have ever lost. 

I have this habit when I'm driving of putting my phone on my lap.  There's been more than a couple of times when I've done this and subsequently left it in the car.  So that's what I think happened last Saturday as I was taking the bus with a couple of girlfriends.  I checked the time and put it on my lap and I guess just walked off the bus without it.  Upon arriving at my car and noticing it was gone, I was on a mission the likes of which could have made it into a Tom Cruise movie.  I had to CATCH THAT BUS!  It was probably about 30 mins ahead, but with my girlfriend in tow (and clutching the door handle no doubt) we caught up with it.  But no phone made its way off the bus.

Makes you realize how dependent we are on our cell phones.  First off, who knows anybody's numbers anymore?  It's in the phone...possibly on speed who needs to remember any more than one digit?  You'd be hard pressed to find a pay phone anymore and when my kids are adults they will probably never have used one in their life.  (Now I really do sound old)  And unless I'm driving ('cuz there's a clock in the car), I have no idea of the time.  Haven't worn a watch in something like 20 years.

I like to 'try' to be positive and give someone the benefit of the doubt and would hope that an honest person out there would try to find the phone's owner.  But with the fancy-schmancy smart phones, these days you don't really have that option.  It's like a credit card.  I felt it better to err on the side of caution and suspend service just in case someone had a hay day with my internet service.

To be honest though, another reason the phone may have "left" me and found its way into someone else's hands is because I didn't love it. 

There, I said it.  I didn't love it...I spoke ill of it...I didn't learn about it...I didn't marvel at all its features...I didn't put my full contact list in it - and so it went on to find someone who would appreciate it.  Both of us have moved on to other cellular relationships.

I hope it's found happiness.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Stop The Insanity!

Guilt makes me insane.  Sort of.  Thought this an interesting video.  What woman can't relate to the guilt that comes with mommy-hood?  And if you can't relate, let me in on your secret. 

Frankly, I'm waiting for someone to come up with a cure in the form of a pill.  Who's with me?

Thursday, April 14, 2011

P.S...IKEA, I Love You!

I have a new-found love for IKEA. It's not for the furniture. It's not for the ball-pit/play area (although now that Big T is tall enough to go in, it ranks high on my list of reasons to love it.) It's not for the $1 chocolate bars or even the cute commercials with that funny Swedish guy...

It's the wine! THEY SELL WINE!! (whoops, did I yell that?)

You've obviously figured out that I'm a mom who doesn't get out much. (I know, sad) And when I do go out, I've usually got the boys in tow. Hubby and I don't have a lot of options for babysitters other than each other. (Insert violin music here)

So the other day my mommy friend and I took our big boys out for the afternoon to this idyllic mecca for weary mums. Our little ones got to stay with the daddies because after all, they're short.

After waiting about 30 mins to put the boys in "the pit" (a lovely sounding place to leave a loved one, I know) we thought, screw shopping...and we headed up (aka sprinted and giggled like giddy schoolgirls) to the cafeteria for some fries and wine...and because we're total health nuts at the moment so it was a way to get our exercise in.

And I've got to be was soooooo good!

Unfortunately our bliss was cut short when over the loud speaker I heard my name being summoned back downstairs. I had visions of being found out that my kid was in a pull-up - because that is apparently a  no-no - but luckily it was just that the boys were bored and wanted out. Bored? I don't remember a ball-pit being an option when I was 4. I still think they should have a play area like this for adults but that's another post.

Here's a pic I took with my phone. Notice the $1 chocolate bars as well. I think I'll need to start taking my camera with me everywhere from now on because the phone pic just does not do this justice.

Monday, April 11, 2011


First off, let me introduce myself. 

I'm Jill.  I'm 43 (sshhh), young at heart and a stay-at-home mom of two wee boys - three if you count my husband (uh-oh...first post and already in trouble).  I'm doing this blog as a means to let it out, so to do something for "me" stop my mind from going to mush. 

In my life pre-husband and pre-kids, all I ever wanted to do was something it acting, photography, visual display, the odd scrapbook, becoming a rock star, whatever.  Those desires have pretty much left me (except for the photography...still love it) but now I'm thinking this can be my creative outlet. 

Don't get me wrong.  Being a mom to my boys is super satisfying and I love it!  It's even creative at what am I going to feed my VERY PICKY 4-year-old tonight?  (Actually, I'm not all that creative when it comes to food)  But I digress.  I feel pretty priviledged to be able to stay home with them even though it means I wear the same thing every day.  I still find it amazing (and tell my boys often) that they grew INSIDE MY BODY!  (Yep, never too early to start with the whole "I brought you into this world, I can take you out!")  I think every woman (heck, everyBODY) should experience the sensations of a little human being growing inside.  It's fascinating and I think it was the best part of being pregnant.  And if I wasn't so old and it wasn't for those early stages of breastfeeding and lack of sleep, I'd do it again.  Twice more, in fact, much to my husband's horror.

So this is for me.  A journal I guess that is a little different than the blogs I did for the boys, chronicling their early lives, to give to "them" when they get older...mostly for "them".  This is mine, all mine!  But of course I'm going to be talking a lot about them, because they are me too. 

Haven't decided if I should share my boys' real names or use some cute pseudonyms.  Still working on the finite details of all this.  Ha!  Working on the details...this is going to be pretty much all fluff just the way I like it..fluffy pillows, fluffy clouds, fluffy foam on a cappuccino...

Oh, I should mention my blog title.  "Mommy Inconsistent".  I struggled with a blog name, but this one fits.  My husband doesn't like it...says it doesn't make me look good...but I think it makes me look real and unfortunately (or not) it's my truth.  Consistent parenting is a constant struggle (not just for me, babe) and there's not one mommy in my circle of mommies who is full-on successful at being consistent.  Yet that is the way "they" say we should be.  (Not too fond of "they"...contribute too much to my mommy guilt)  A perfect example of myself being inconsistent is when I got my iPad.  I remember saying quite vehemently:  "This is MY iPad...the boys are not even to know what it is."  Then fast-forward to a morning when my 4-year-old is up at 5am and it's ... "Here, play with my iPad on that end of the couch; I'm sleeping on this end and don't wake me up until there's a 7 on the clock."  But the upside is that both my 2 and 4-year-olds are far more technologically advanced than some of their peers...ha least that's what I tell myself.  A good thing I think...hope??  So it's a fine balance between always being consistent, doing what I "should" be doing and doing what works for "me".  (By the way, he's on my iPad as I write this)

Wow, the rambling has already begun and it kind of feels good...(except for the teeny tiny ache that is forming in my head, but I'll get used to it)...This is a perfect example of how my mommy brain has become...a wee bit cluttered up there...

Let the spring cleaning begin!