Monday, April 11, 2011

Introductions...

First off, let me introduce myself. 

I'm Jill.  I'm 43 (sshhh), young at heart and a stay-at-home mom of two wee boys - three if you count my husband (uh-oh...first post and already in trouble).  I'm doing this blog as a means to let it out, so to speak...to do something for "me"...to stop my mind from going to mush. 

In my life pre-husband and pre-kids, all I ever wanted to do was something creative...be it acting, photography, visual display, the odd scrapbook, becoming a rock star, whatever.  Those desires have pretty much left me (except for the photography...still love it) but now I'm thinking this can be my creative outlet. 

Don't get me wrong.  Being a mom to my boys is super satisfying and I love it!  It's even creative at times...like what am I going to feed my VERY PICKY 4-year-old tonight?  (Actually, I'm not all that creative when it comes to food)  But I digress.  I feel pretty priviledged to be able to stay home with them even though it means I wear the same thing every day.  I still find it amazing (and tell my boys often) that they grew INSIDE MY BODY!  (Yep, never too early to start with the whole "I brought you into this world, I can take you out!")  I think every woman (heck, everyBODY) should experience the sensations of a little human being growing inside.  It's fascinating and I think it was the best part of being pregnant.  And if I wasn't so old and it wasn't for those early stages of breastfeeding and lack of sleep, I'd do it again.  Twice more, in fact, much to my husband's horror.

So this is for me.  A journal I guess that is a little different than the blogs I did for the boys, chronicling their early lives, to give to "them" when they get older...mostly for "them".  This is mine, all mine!  But of course I'm going to be talking a lot about them, because they are me too. 

Haven't decided if I should share my boys' real names or use some cute pseudonyms.  Still working on the finite details of all this.  Ha!  Working on the details...this is going to be pretty much all fluff just the way I like it..fluffy pillows, fluffy clouds, fluffy foam on a cappuccino...

Oh, I should mention my blog title.  "Mommy Inconsistent".  I struggled with a blog name, but this one fits.  My husband doesn't like it...says it doesn't make me look good...but I think it makes me look real and unfortunately (or not) it's my truth.  Consistent parenting is a constant struggle (not just for me, babe) and there's not one mommy in my circle of mommies who is full-on successful at being consistent.  Yet that is the way "they" say we should be.  (Not too fond of "they"...contribute too much to my mommy guilt)  A perfect example of myself being inconsistent is when I got my iPad.  I remember saying quite vehemently:  "This is MY iPad...the boys are not even to know what it is."  Then fast-forward to a morning when my 4-year-old is up at 5am and it's ... "Here, play with my iPad on that end of the couch; I'm sleeping on this end and don't wake me up until there's a 7 on the clock."  But the upside is that both my 2 and 4-year-olds are far more technologically advanced than some of their peers...ha ha...at least that's what I tell myself.  A good thing I think...hope??  So it's a fine balance between always being consistent, doing what I "should" be doing and doing what works for "me".  (By the way, he's on my iPad as I write this)

Wow, the rambling has already begun and it kind of feels good...(except for the teeny tiny ache that is forming in my head, but I'll get used to it)...This is a perfect example of how my mommy brain has become...a wee bit cluttered up there...

Let the spring cleaning begin!

2 comments:

Rachel said...

Thanks for posting. So good to read.

Mommy Inconsistent said...

Thanks, Rachel! It's a work in progress.