A Sloth's Life For Me!

I used to want to be a guy in my next life.  Not just any guy though.  I wanted to be a hot guy...a Brad Pitt kind of guy - or Johnny Depp - oh! oh!  Gerard Butler!  I would just really like to know what challenges guys like these face.  What, too many women after you?  Poor baby.  I seriously wanted to experience life as a really hot guy.

Well, as of today I've changed my mind.

I've decided that in my next life I'd like to come back as a sloth.

Look at this adorable face?

What's not to like about a sloth?  It's even fun to say...

"S-s-s-s-l-l-l-o-o-o-o-o-t-h-h-h-h-h!"

What comes to mind when you think of a sloth?  Lazy, right?  Well, I've been reading up on them, and I wouldn't call them lazy.  They just know the importance of rest!  For those of you like me who have forgotten what it means to rest, here's the definition:


1   : to get rest by lying down; especially : sleep

2  

: to cease from action or motion : refrain from labor or exertion

3

: to be free from anxiety or disturbance

Sounds good to me.

So what made me come to the conclusion that it's a sloth's life?  It's because today I was pretty much "sloth-like" all day long.  Or I was trying to be.  There was the constant interruption of these 'lil dudes wanting to play with me.  It all stems from Little K's preschool had their monthly general meeting last night.  It's a parent-participation preschool so this is something we have to do.  And I don't mind at all...I love being involved in the boys' schools.

After the meeting, myself and a couple of other moms who don't get out much ran screaming with glee and anticipation headed off to a local pub to have a couple of glasses of wine.  MMMM, Pinot Gris!  It was great fun getting to know them and when we finally looked at our clocks to head home it was midnight!  I know, I know...party girls!

Of course once home I couldn't just hop into bed.  I needed to wind down with a 'lil social media, a 'lil Pinterest, so I probably got to bed around 1am.  As per usual I was awakened by a boy calling my name.  I couldn't believe my eyes when I looked at the clock and read 2am!!  Shortly after Big T waking up, as luck would have it, Little K was up and they were pretty much wide awake!  In my sleepy stupor, I started to wonder if those couple glasses of wine that tasted soooo good just a couple hours earlier were worth it?  (They were!)  I started to panic and am hoping now that I didn't offer some major bribes in order to get them to sleep.  When they finally went down again it was 3:40am!  Luckily for me, Big T slept in a bit...I think he slept 'til 6:30!!  And yes, I'm being sarcastic!  That 'lil man rarely sleeps past 6!

So back to my longing to be a sloth.  I guess when you're sleep deprived, even if it's of your own doing, the life of an animal who sleeps 20 hours a day on average is pretty appealing.  Sloths are relaaaaxed, man!  And they're not stupid.  I guess people think they're deaf.  They aren't.  They're just not really interested in sound.  I want to be like that.  Then that 'lil whiny Caillou would never get on my nerves again.

Sloths are vegetarian (like me) and live a very peaceful life (unlike me).  They are in harmony with the environment and forever have a smile on their lips.  They are so chill and seemingly worry free.  They only poop once a week.  Only dealing with poop once a week??  Wow!  Just.Wow!  And think of all the money I'd save on toilet paper!

Oh, yeah, the life of a sloth.  I'm digging it.

Nighty-night!