Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The S Word

I realized something today.

Well, I knew about it before, but I was in denial.  Today this realization slapped me in the face.

Sleep is NOT a four-letter word.

If you're a parent, I'm pretty sure you've heard of this book...

It is HILARIOUS!  And so true.  If you haven't heard it, check it out on YouTube.

While, yes, I often say this in my head with regards to my boys, it's more me that needs to Go The Fuck To Sleep.

I haven't been valuing sleep like I should.  I always say that I don't want my "me" time to be unconscious...I say it a lot actually.  But now I know that it's something I should not and CANNOT avoid any longer.  I need it.  I REALLY NEED IT!

I need it because I feel that lately I've become that mom who yells.  I don't want to be that mom.  Of course sometimes I need to, but I've been going there a bit too much for my liking in recent days...enough that I notice it.  And I notice how it's affecting my boys.  It doesn't work - well, okay, sometimes it does, but the aftermath isn't worth it.  We all know how important role-modelling is and I've seen Big T start yelling at Little K a bit too much as well these days.

It all comes down to lack of it.

Back in May I wrote a post about it; in particular, I wrote an apology to sleep.  Here's what I wrote:

"Dear Sleep,  
I'm sorry.  I was wrong to deny you, to think you aren't important.  I didn't mean to neglect you and I hope you will forgive me.  I like you.  I really do.  I know you're just wanting me to feel good, look good and be a happier mom.  So please accept my apology and in future I promise to appreciate you and even fight for you.  This may take a little time, however, so I hope you'll be patient with me  I realize that as I am writing this, the boys are napping and I should be as well, but as another saying goes:  "Rome wasn't built in a day" and this may apply to me as I get used to it all.  When there's so much to do and so few hours in a day, it will be a challenge to fit you in, but I vow to try.  So here's to us, Sleep.  You and me.  Together we'll be unstoppable!"

Looks like I need to make another apology.  

Here goes:

Dear Sleep,
     It's me again.  I know, I know, I haven't kept my word.  I'm sorry (again).
     I stay up waaaaaay too late.  Even when I know I'm usually awakened each night by one of my boys, and even though I know Big T never sleeps past 6am, I still stay up 'til about 1am.  Okay, sometimes later, but that's only usually when I work really late, like 'til 12am.  I can't just hop into bed when I get home.  I want to check emails, Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest!  For god's sake, Pinterest!
     But I'm not blaming the kids or the fact that I have to work nights (well, only sometimes I am).  I take full responsibility for the 4-5 hours sleep I get each night.
     I guess I'm asking for one more chance, Sleep.  Will you give me one more chance to show you that I value you?  Then will you help my metabolism move at a faster rate?  Will you get rid of the dark circles under my eyes and help with my patience when it comes to my kids...especially Little K who is starting to challenge me (as every 3-yr-old does) when he's never challenged me before?  
     So one more chance, okay, Sleep?  I'll prove to you that I mean this.  Really.  I will.  (Don't look at me like that)
     In Sweet Slumber,  Jill

Phew!  Glad to get that off my chest.

Now I'm going to bed!

Sweet dreams!


Mayor Gia said...

Ooof, I've been staying up way too late too - and I don't even have kids. it's not good.

LOVE "Go the f**** to sleep." Especailly when Samuel L Jackson reads it.... (youtube)

shellthings said...

I used to stay up super late b/c that was MY time and I wanted as much of it as I could... and then I was super exhausted in the mornings. I've started going to bed at a more reasonable hour though.

Christine Yu said...

I completely understand where you are coming from. I have been staying up later and later because that's when the house is quiet and when I can get some things done. But I constantly am tired and haven't been the nicest Mommy lately and I hate that. I hate when I yell at my boys too. I'm trying to go to bed earlier for everyone's sake!

Kimberly All Work No Play said...

Oh how ironic that it's almost 1 am and I'm still on the computer. crack to a ho
And pinterest?
Sleep theif.
Oh sleep I apologize too.
And coffee thank you for saving me.

Kristen said...

My husband says that there are truly two things in this world that make me happy. Most people think it is him and our girls but he says it is food and sleep. I think he is right because neither one of them ever disappoint me and always put a smile on my face ;-)

Mommy Inconsistent said...

Food definitely makes me happy and I'm working on the sleep thing. Got 7-1/2 last night...not bad!! :)

Mommy Inconsistent said...

I've gotta write an opposite letter to coffee...'cuz it's not even doing its job. OMG, could I be becoming immune to it?? NOOOOOOO!

Brandi Yee said...

I am so guilty of this at times as well! Hubby will say "Just go to bed now since the kids are sleeping" and I'll respond with, "But this is my only ME time! I don't want to waste it". Lol. Even though, sleep is much more needed. I've gotten better though. Sleep makes a world of difference; in mood, health, happiness etc. Us moms are just too stubborn to take advantage of it sometimes ;)

Mommy Inconsistent said...

You've said it exactly, Brandi! :)

Mommy Inconsistent said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one! Thanks for stopping by, Christine!

Mommy Inconsistent said...

I'm trying my best to go to bed early least if I take my laptop with me, I'm in a more relaxed position and then I usually start to dose off...kind of the best of both worlds I guess.

Mommy Inconsistent said...

Gia, if and when you do have kids, for your first time, people will tell you to get your sleep BEFORE they arrive...listen to them! 'Cuz after kids I'm thinking you never really sleep again! :P