Well, I knew about it before, but I was in denial. Today this realization slapped me in the face.
Sleep is NOT a four-letter word.
If you're a parent, I'm pretty sure you've heard of this book...
I need it because I feel that lately I've become that mom who yells. I don't want to be that mom. Of course sometimes I need to, but I've been going there a bit too much for my liking in recent days...enough that I notice it. And I notice how it's affecting my boys. It doesn't work - well, okay, sometimes it does, but the aftermath isn't worth it. We all know how important role-modelling is and I've seen Big T start yelling at Little K a bit too much as well these days.
It all comes down to sleep...my lack of it.
Back in May I wrote a post about it; in particular, I wrote an apology to sleep. Here's what I wrote:
I'm sorry. I was wrong to deny you, to think you aren't important. I didn't mean to neglect you and I hope you will forgive me. I like you. I really do. I know you're just wanting me to feel good, look good and be a happier mom. So please accept my apology and in future I promise to appreciate you and even fight for you. This may take a little time, however, so I hope you'll be patient with me I realize that as I am writing this, the boys are napping and I should be as well, but as another saying goes: "Rome wasn't built in a day" and this may apply to me as I get used to it all. When there's so much to do and so few hours in a day, it will be a challenge to fit you in, but I vow to try. So here's to us, Sleep. You and me. Together we'll be unstoppable!"
Looks like I need to make another apology.
It's me again. I know, I know, I haven't kept my word. I'm sorry (again).
I stay up waaaaaay too late. Even when I know I'm usually awakened each night by one of my boys, and even though I know Big T never sleeps past 6am, I still stay up 'til about 1am. Okay, sometimes later, but that's only usually when I work really late, like 'til 12am. I can't just hop into bed when I get home. I want to check emails, Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest! For god's sake, Pinterest!
But I'm not blaming the kids or the fact that I have to work nights (well, only sometimes I am). I take full responsibility for the 4-5 hours sleep I get each night.
I guess I'm asking for one more chance, Sleep. Will you give me one more chance to show you that I value you? Then will you help my metabolism move at a faster rate? Will you get rid of the dark circles under my eyes and help with my patience when it comes to my kids...especially Little K who is starting to challenge me (as every 3-yr-old does) when he's never challenged me before?
So one more chance, okay, Sleep? I'll prove to you that I mean this. Really. I will. (Don't look at me like that)
In Sweet Slumber, Jill
Phew! Glad to get that off my chest.
Now I'm going to bed!