Wednesday, June 29, 2011

The Poop Post

(I should probably preface this post with an apology for possibly - all right, definitely embarrassing my child in the future)

So it was inevitable. 

I can sense your excited anticipation of wanting to know what the heck I'm talking about...okay, maybe not, but I'll tell you anyways.

It was inevitable that I write a post about poop.  How could I not?  I'm a parent.  And as with a lot of other parents out there, poop can sometimes rule our lives.  It's been ruling mine for a while now.  For those without kids...well, you're probably not reading this blog, but if you are (glad to have you) and if you see kidlets in your future, let me just will definitely for sure without a doubt could possibly happen to you.

Of course everybody's poop story varies somewhat, but all have one thing in common.  There's a lot of it and sometimes it seems like it will never end.

Have I lost you yet?

Anyhoo, our poop story is ongoing with our boys...we're forever cleaning someone's bum.  It particularly revolves around Big T, however.  Put simply, he holds it...or trys to.  If there was a category in the Guiness Book of World Records for poop withholding, Big T's name would be there, undefeated.  I've discovered that it's pretty common...especially with boys.  Other than the fact that it's always on our minds, it's frustrating because he was potty-trained pretty easily...really only took a day if I remember correctly.  We never had to night train him either.  In fact, I remember telling Hubby that we should save money on pull-ups and not use them at night because he never wet the bed! 

But it's the 'ol #2 that my 'lil man has a problem with.  He just does not want to do it!  And if there's a couple things I know about kids (or my kids) ... you can't make them eat and you can't make them poop. 

No amount of bribing ("I will take you to the toy store RIGHT NOW!") or encouraging ("Come on buddy, I know you can do it!") or forcing ("You ARE sitting on this potty") or ignoring ("Oh, you pooped?  I had no idea.") will make him go.  He's capable; he's done it before, but he just doesn't like it, plain and simple.  I really want him to get over this before he hits Kindergarten in September because afterall, kids can be cruel.

This has been going on for a good couple of years, but I'm happy to say that the other day, HE DID IT!  And, wow, was he proud...and I was proud...and Hubby was proud.  We were so proud that out came the camera (I know, gross, but tell me you haven't done the same thing) and the pic was emailed to Hubby at work.  (Sorry for ruining your lunch, babe.) 

But don't worry, I won't be uploading a poop pic here.  It's enough that I'm writing about it and will probably get chastised by Big T when he's old enough to read this.  But I've just gotta would be shocked to see it.  For a kid who holds it in for a good week, there's no wonder it freaks him out.  Nothing that big has ever come out of me!  It's all I can do from letting out a blood-curdling scream and calling 911, but I've gotta keep it together for his sake.  (Are you getting a good visual?  Sorry.)

Wow, it's pretty shocking how much poop is involved in my day-to-day life.  Never would've thunk it.  And I've never talked so much about poop in my life...and to complete strangers.  Of course if the person I'm talking with is also a parent, they're not offended and they happily share their poop stories with me. 

And do you want to know the wierdest thing of all?  I'm actually interested! 

And in case you're interested, I've just typed the word "poop" 13 times. 

Ah, just another day in my life. 

Now, excuse me while I go clean some poop...14.


The Suburban Princess said...

LMAO! I am such a poop-a-phobic, and I am bombarded with it on a daily basis via my two diapered babies and my toilet trained 4 year-old who hasn't quite mastered the skill of wiping just yet.

Ah, the life of a mommy.

Mommy Inconsistent said...'re definitely dealing with more of it than me! You're a brave

Sandra said...

You'd be surprised how highly acclaimed the poop picture would have been :)
Great post! I had a poop-holder too. It lasted until he was 7! So my heart and a box of baby wipes goes out to you.

Mommy Inconsistent said...

OMG, Sandra, 7?? Don't know if I can handle that. Thanks for your comment and I'm off to check out your blog!

Grumpy Grateful Mom said...

Congratulations to your boy! We always have poop parties at my house. The parties are as much for me as they are for my kids. Us moms put in a lot of effort into such a feat.

Mommy Inconsistent said...

Thanks, GGM...Unfortunatelly he's back to his withholding ways. Oh well...guess I'll just keep planning poop parties!